Through blurry eyes, I peered groggily at the clock on the
bedside table to find that it said it was 3:00. After forcing my foggy brain to
think for a minute, I realize it must be afternoon since the bedroom isn’t
dark. As I dragged myself out of bed and made my way to the kitchen, I tried desperately
to keep my stomach from revolting again. Upon reaching the kitchen I find two
of my children there chatting while one has started working on that night’s
dinner and the other is mopping the floor. My daughter sent me back to bed
after checking to see how I was and asking if I needed anything. I was able to
meander my way back to my bed, secure in the knowledge that everything was
under control and I could focus on getting better.
How did we get to this point?
We started out allowing our children to be beside us while
we worked. They “helped” wash dishes, folded washcloths, and picked up their
toys when they were big enough to walk. Back when they thought sweeping, dusting,
doing laundry and all those other mundane tasks were fun, we had them beside us
doing as much of the job as they could. Whenever they wanted to do more we let
them try it, with us standing right there making sure they were safe and
offering advice and encouragement.
Gradually, over many years, they learned to do everything we
could do, plus a few things they learned on their own. Now I have a daughter
who has been in charge of cooking dinner, cleaning the kitchen, taking care of
chickens and goats, cleaning the barn, helping with house cleaning, and doing
her own laundry for several years. Our son takes care of the dogs and cats,
does his laundry, helps with cleaning when asked, can make dinner, keeps his
bedroom immaculate, takes care of the rabbits, and mows the 2 ½ acres we own
every week.
Is it too late to start?
We adopted a son when he was 18 years old. He had never had
a chore or been expected to do anything, even his schoolwork, in his entire
life. While he still has a very long way to go in learning to be responsible he
does empty the kitchen trash every day and take the trash can to the curb every
week without being reminded to do so. He also, usually, remembers to do his own
laundry on his assigned day each week. He also helps (for a short period of
time) with push mowing if you catch him in the right mood. While the process is
taking longer and is a lot more work and a lot more stressful for everyone, he
is learning!
While not one of our children, or their parents, is perfect,
our two birth children are very reliable, hard-working and responsible adults.
Our third child is getting there, with a lot of patience and reminders. It has
taken years and a lot of time, effort, patience, and starting over to get where
we are but it has been so worth it!
